When we love ourselves, we are in a better frame to make the right choices. When I have felt disconnected in my life with others, I have even closer to myself in private. I am a people pleaser that has noticed my habit and am trying to drop it. People pleasing in my experience will never work and you will always end up with heartache. Do not even try it, but you will be in for a messy ride. I always wanted everyone to feel good, have good times, get what they want. It was never my place to do that and never my responsibility to do that. I was around people that would yell a lot, so by being a people pleaser I felt that if everyone felt ok maybe there would be no fighting. The things we go through and do not even notice. It took me years to notice my behaviour as it must have come from an early age. You can love and respect people, without having to bend to make everyone feel secure. We need to make sure that we are first secure and when we are then we can ask others what they would want. Do not people please and estimate what you think would make others happy. When I examine the world what I would hope to see is caring people doing what makes them happy. Not everyone believes they deserve happiness and may try to self-sabotage things. I like going with the flow, so if you put in the work, if you do what feels right to you, you will be successful. When I have self-sabotage relationships it hurt. I realized it had to do with feeling unworthy or not good enough. I was and always have been good enough, but my mind did not see it that way. When you have these built-in negative habits that is when you must work hard on yourself. I had to re-train my brain that I am worthy, respect others, and like being myself. It is never easy and being human means, you make mistakes. I will say the negative things but must never believe it. Our thoughts are important and can show us what is hurting us, and what is good for us. When I feel something good, I lean into it now and look at the positives that went into the situation and what has come out from it. I was scared to make a public speech, but after the speech was done, I was confident in myself to continue. The excitement of going through something like that and the feeling you get after just doing it. Its not important whether it was successful or not, but the important part is how you feel after the scary thing is over. I never liked feeling embarrassed. Feeling embarrassed is not a big deal. When something embarrassing happens, I like to collect myself, get composed until I feel ready, then continue on because its now in the past. Anyone can go from feeling bad to re-training the mind into feeling glad.