The Next Big Adventure

I am an introvert and today was another day. I feel on empty from all the interactions and noises that went on today. It seems like things have been moving lately and maybe that is matching the pace of the people. To look at where my life was a year ago and looking at it know it does not seem even close to the same. It has been a positive adventure of a year, but I am also happy to see it ending. I have never done as much learning about myself as this year. Bad patterns and good habits were both ended and made. The best thing I can do right now is take everything in slow-motion when I feel it coming into quick. It does feel tough when you have to multi-task stressful things that come up, but that happens from time to time. I am not one for understanding body language and missing social cues. It is much easier to write about people then to deal directly with them. I constantly feel a resistant force with people and by writing it helps to get your thoughts out when you feel you might not be able to in other ways. The best part about it is if you love it, it does not feel like work typing. What do you want your life to be about? What do you want your next great adventure to be? I am to understand that a lot of people may be on vacation soon and are ready for the next big adventure. I am ready to do better at understanding the world around me. People can feel like aliens to me at certain times and trying to understand them and myself will make everything a better place. I need to be able to take charge and not wait for problems to linger on before dealing with them. It can be nice procrastinating, until you get to the end where nothing happens. I know how to get things done in my way but that has never worked well with others. I have always felt I stuck out and fearing making a mistake always made that worse. If I already stick out, how many people will there be when I do something embarrassing. Embarrassment is as bad as you make it out to be. People may remember things about it or call you names but you still have your version as well. I am someone who does not like to and does not want to worry about what others think of me. I have felt the judgement by interacting with others and I would never want someone to have to go through that. We all judge and there is no way around it but the level that we judge is extreme sometimes. Remember that everyone is different no matter what they say. We want to fit in as a group, but we always want to stand out as our own identity. Its great to have your own identity but it is not so great when it is a false identity.