Patience is key and then you can make your move to the next phase. When we can turn our thoughts around it can be a big blessing. Beating myself down for years never did any good for me and it will not do good for you. Taking things into my own hands and starting to realize the good things I was doing and the damaging things that I need stop doing. I still make mistakes and have unhealthy habits, but I know that things now can be good and good for you. You can heal again and look taller or have that feeling of a version of yourself that you were missing for a long time. Remember we will always think we have less power than we do. That is something I notice at least from my experience. It is the fact that we live for the control, but we believe we must force it, manipulate it, poison things to make it happen. That will work for people and that must be one of the reasons people do it. I would like to think again that when we take steps to becoming who we feel closely matches us inside and out then we will have the best chance in having all the good things come in. The answers are out there somewhere, and I wish I had them. All you can do is trust you will make the right decisions from the experiences you have and continue to go the best way that you know how to go. The issue becomes and I experienced this when you have the bad days and lose track of the progress you made or think that you will never get what you want most. If you can relax yourself and make it through those days and focus on conquering the days you feel most in control you should be ok. I like to sprint when I do things which means that I try to go as fast as I can by giving as much effort as I can. I run out of gas and need breaks to refuel and come back stronger each time I go through this process. Your brain is the computer that you need and your gut can be Google, so that when your brain is searching about something your gut will let you know if it will be successful or not. Try different things to experience what you like. Think of simple goals to make your way through the day and then soon your confidence has grown because you keep accomplishing things. The things you crave are never to feel laughed at unless they are comedic then keep laughing. Remember you can learn to play an instrument (a valuable skill), learn a foreign language (a valuable skill). Learn about something you always wanted to but now finally have time for. The number of resources at your disposal with the power you have can continue to make you stronger each day. If you can try to find passion in something you can keep going.