I Felt Like A Snake Today

When the water feels deep to you swim even deeper or do you turn back? Today was a humbling day and a day I needed to take notice of things. The pain that I have felt needs to get healed and turned into forgiveness to be able to move on. Forgiveness is a tough thing to do I have found and always thought it meant weakness. Thinking about it now makes me feel insecure and that is not a good feeling. How do we forgive then and how do we make it feel like we did not let ourselves down by our actions? It comes from knowing that we were doing the best that we could. Everyone made mistakes, and we must take our part in this. Thinking it is ok to let go, and it is ok to wish the person the best and say goodbye. This helps lessen the impact and hold they may have over you. It is a way to give you back your power and make you feel better to move on. When we do not forgive the actions that have happened then it can build up and come out like a big snowball rolling down a hill. Forgiving is never about thinking the other person has won and has overpowered you. I had built up in my mind and choose to ignore forgiveness. Now it has become the time to stop the snowball from happening and let the anger, not build. Reacting is never the way to go, but it has been tough to kick that bad habit. I recognize it now and know that is there, so I am on way, but missteps can happen. Moving backwards for the moment just means you have a chance to make a bigger leap in the future. I could beat myself up over the anger I have felt and blame it on myself and the weaknesses I have. What would that accomplish and how is that going to make me deal with the issue and make my life better? Forgiveness has wanted to bite a bullet, but I am hoping it ends up relieving the tension I have felt. Going through things like this daily will lead at the end of the day to being more confident. Never run away from your issues because they will always find you. You can think for the moment you have outrun them, but they will be in the back of your mind. When you have an issue, it is better to face it head-on and lower the power it has before it is too late. I will look back and not remember this day in the future but for now it is in my memory. We cannot take back the things we say or do once we have done them. We must be able to stay strong and accept if our emotions get the best of us. There will be another battle, and this will be another lesson in growing that I must need to go through.