It is ok for you to feel embarrassed. Do not let any shame in, but you can understand where you are feeling bad. It will lead you to why you feel this or that way. For example, if I look at my feelings and see that it is because I do not have something I know it could be insecurity, jealousy. If I am angry, it could be because I am sad or feel things are happening unfairly. You do not want to ever be the victim either so it you are in dangerous ground between healthy and unhealthy thoughts. Let the people being in charge call their shots. You move on to what you need to do. We cannot be worried about everything that comes our way, but we just must feel we are prepared to handle anything. Let people think what they want to think and do not change their mind. They are living in their world as you are living in yours. Two people experiencing the exact same event can have completely different experiences of what happens. They may disagree on what happened, which makes it scary. It does not make things scary, but it helps give us our uniqueness. This is also why if you feel singled out and feel you are feeling treated unfairly you need to fight it. Someone else who is seeing exactly what you are going through may think it is because of something else and not what it is. We may go through similar events as humans, but sometimes we do not know what others will be going through. There is no sadness in being afraid, but if you do not go after what you want you may feel regret. Embarrassment and shame are two things that drive people wild. It is ok to feel mocked by a group of people (it is not ok). It says more about the group of people, though. You take your part and understand their part. That way you will not have feelings of embarrassment, shame, inner credit negative talk. We must rise to the top fighting these things as we go on. The best is they never go away. The level of intensity you may feel for them just changes. No panic attacks for going through this stuff. Just strength and knowing even if you are the only person that knows the truth it is still your truth. There does not need to be a battle within yourself, but more of an encouragement to yourself to go further. Just because we may accept something, does not make it right. Choose what you accept with power because some things should never end up tolerated or accepted. It is an important lesson to figure out which battles to go for and when to sit back. You may have to end up burned for it to click inside you the right way to proceed. The great ways we can describe ourselves needs to come out more: powerful, smart, innovative, honest, etc. Use whatever you can or want to describe it and continue building the foundation. Your inner and outer world needs the best care.