I always can handle Thursdays and Fridays better than Mondays and Tuesdays. More hopeful of things at this point in the week. I like knowing each day I feel smarter than the previous one. I enjoy feeling loved and knowing that I deserve love like everyone else. Some people again can be their biggest enemy. I am one that has been their biggest enemy at one point or another. Now I know better, and it is better to give love than hate the things about you. You owe it to yourself to love and do what is best for you. To fix the mistakes we make we must show accountability and must make the changes necessary to make us happy. It can be tough if you feel cutdown by anyone, but you just move on. Showing up for yourself is a continual effort and is important. The people you are around will appreciate you doing this. Nobody wants to be around people that do not like themselves. You everything to gain by believing in yourself. I know all to well about the self-doubt. At times even writing these I filled with self-doubt but realized that I have nothing to lose and everything to gain from this blog. Healing and helping myself, while trying to help others and giving what I have seen happen are important to me. You need to have things and find what is important to you. We can always forgive ourselves for what we have done, and we can always make changes in our lives. The things and people that you are passionate about become a part of you and make life worth living. The hardest part is to deflect all the reasons you cannot do something. “I feel too tired” or “I can start doing this tomorrow.” I was the king of procrastination and still love producing reasons why I failed to complete a task. I like to do things in my own time so that could be 1 hour, or it could be 1 year. It just depends on the way I am feeling. I have felt underestimated at times by others and now crave that feeling. It is good for people to guess wrong about you because trust me you are free then. You can do whatever you want and if it is good they will notice and if it is bad they will make sure and tell you. Fear, self-loathing, addictions, these things can all lead you to scary places you do not want to be in. They are barriers that you will have to fight through. I let my anxiety rule me for decades but then had to decide to do I have enough strength to overcome those feelings when they come up. They will come up and especially when you fight them or do not want to see them. Being scared and doing it anyways has given me a rush like being on a roller coaster depending on what I was scared about. It has also given me confidence, courage, and strength when trying. The worst thing you can do is stay mad, resenting yourself for where you are. That will keep you in a deep hole.
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